One more thing to worry about

The day started out great. I took Zorro to class and then ran a few errands. I got some items recycled and did some shopping at the 99 cents store. Then I got in about 30 minutes of exercise time. I picked Zorro up and went to drop something off at his pediatrician's office (needed to get a prescription renewed---one great benefit of getting organized is not finding these things out before it's too late). Then we called a friend and had lunch with her at McDonald's. I went home...

The dog was out of her cage. I checked around briefly and saw the living room and kitchen looked in great condition...which basically meant she hadn't gotten into anything. Then, I went upstairs.

Sitting on the floor was an empty box of donuts. Crumbs were scattered amongst the blue and gray fibers of the rug. I knew there had been two donuts left in the box...and at least one had been a chocolate covered one. Yeah. I'm thinking "Great."

I call the vet's office and am told to watch her. The amount of chocolate she ingested was probably nothing too serious. But, still watch for abnormal behavior...vomiting etc. She seems pretty normal right now. I'm just waiting for the clock to reach closing time. That's usually when she starts having problems and I end up having to take her to the ER.

So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she'll have no ill effects and make a reminder to make sure the cage is locked securely to keep her safe from chewing gum, chocolate, and whatever else her daddy may have left lying out.

Love and Duty

The hubby worked hard all week to get today off. Unfortunately, it was all for naught. He was called in for jury duty and is at the local courthouse today. He is not a happy camper. Neither is Zorro who was looking forward to daddy taking him to preschool and showing off the classroom toys, especially the assortment of Chevron cars.

While I feel for hubby (I really do!), I still get my free time during Zorro's class. WOOHOO!! I have my exercise outfit planned, packed my fanny pack (yes, I still use one), and have my MP3 player ready to go. Rascal Flatts and I can eat some serious pavement together.

After getting on the scale a few days ago and seeing I gained--and continued to gain--weight, I gave myself an ass-whooping. Big ass...Big whooping. So, I'm happy to report I made some effort to eat less (portion size and caloric intake) and to get in some exercise. I got on my mini stepper 3 days in a row--granted it was only 15 minutes per day but it was more than I had done in months. I also managed to do some girly-man push-ups and some crunches. I am going to get back to happy and to happy weight!

I reread some of my past blogs, blogs of my happier days. I read the love I felt for my son, my joy of him. I read the pride I felt in myself, the joy of being who I was--mommy, wife, friend. I also read my time of tears and confusion. And saw the days and weeks of missing entries. And the missing pages spoke for themselves.

And here I am.

The love for my son never left--but the love for me and my interests had waned. It was a struggle to smile and attempt to make each day seem normal. It was a struggle not to let my sadness show through and not to let it touch the brightness of my son. I don't have to try anymore. I don't have to fake it. I made it. It feels normal and right. I feel good. I feel so incredibly good and I know how lucky I am to be here. It's such an amazing difference to how I felt just 2 months ago. Like night and day.

And writing again...soothes my soul once more.

Hello, old friend. Hello.

Tell Me More

I've been trying to decrease the television watching in our house. A new rule was implemented. Paperwork or housecleaning in exchanage for tv time. After my cleanup day, there was no more cleaning to give Zorro though he desperately wanted to (he hates paperwork--paperwork is what we call writing or workbook activities). But I remain firm...no paperwork, no tv. And so this morning I hear his little voice tell me of what happened while I was at the doctor's last night:

"Mom...the last day--daddy let me watch tv and I didn't do paperwork or write my name or clean up."

"Oh, really? I guess I'll have to put daddy in time out. Why did he do that?"

**silence**

Probably running through his head...loosely translated, of course... "Oh shit?!"

But, I'm a good mommy, so I ask if he'd been a good listening boy. He says he had, so I say "that's why daddy let you watch television. Because you were a good listening boy, you earned television watching."

Parents have to back up one another and make sure the rules are being followed and throughly explained to the children so we are all on the same page.

Grrrrrr...Just wait till your daddy gets home....

The Weight is Over

As I battled the psychological war, the Battle of the Bulge continued to rage on with the enemy steadily gaining ground and winning. UGH!

Solace and comfort is found in the pantry. But as my pants grow tighter, so does the disgust with myself.

Besides trying to schedule in vacuuming and laundry and washing the dog and classes and "ME" time, I need to squeeze in exercise...because I am tired of squeezing into my clothes! I miss when they felt loose, when I could see the ridges of my belly and the bones on my ribcage.

Damn you!! Damn you chocolate cake, pistachio ice cream, apple pie, bread pudding, Lay's sour cream and onion potato chips (OH why can't I have just one?!), animal crackers, peanut butter.....!!!!!!!

My eating habits have slowly slipped back into familiar routines. Bad routines. I'm going to restart by just adding exercises. I can do that. And cutting back slowly---breads and rice and potatoes (bye bye Lay's)...eating more nutritious foods---salads and fruits---and drinking more water.

Today is my day to help out in Zorro's class so I must go and get a load of laundry started and get him up for breakfast.

Wouldn't it be great if BUSY=POUNDS LOST?!

HELLO UNCLE NORMAN!! GLAD TO SEE YOU ARE READING. GUESS I CAN'T TALK ABOUT YOU NOW!

Hats Off

Zorro's first day of preschool went great. I found out that due to the small size of the class, parents are required to sign up for a minimum of 5 days to help out. The teacher also requested people sign up for more days to help out those who had multiple kids enrolled or those that couldn't help out so much. The whole point of signing Zorro up for preschool was for me to get time away from him. Now it seems I will still be there in the classroom at least for about 7 days. I thought this was hilarious. The hubby did not think it was so funny. But, then, he has to live with me at my worst. Which is still pretty good (and funny in a crazy kind of way).

So now I am trying to schedule my time to be most efficient...so I don't get so overwhelmed and frazzled. And I have to schedule in things like classes and drive time and vacuuming and laundry. And I am a stay at home mom...and I wonder how in the world I would manage it all if I had a 9 to 5 job that I had to go to. I don't know that I could do it. I don't know how other ladies manage it and stay sane and raise not only one child but two or three of four. What a feat!! Hats off to you!!

Separation Anxiety

Today Zorro starts his first day of preschool. The class is Monday, Wednesday, Friday for 2 hours each day. Unlike other classes we've taken together, he will attend on his own while I wait for the time to be over. While I think I will enjoy having some alone time---time which I intend to spend getting some exercise in or getting together with a friend---this is a rather daunting experience...not so much for him, but for me.

This is the first time he will be away from me in the care of a stranger. I know logically this person is employed by the city and has done this class many times before, but never with my child. It's scary I must say. Terrifying. I am putting my most beloved and precious person, my heart, into the arms of someone I have never met before and know nothing about. I am trusting this person to keep him safe and to watch over him until he is back into my arms.

I had a talk with Zorro last night, reviewing safety tips. He knows who his safe adults are and knows not to leave with anyone else. I placed his name tag on his shoe with our pertinent information just in case he gets lost. He will be wearing another on his clothing and one around his neck. I know. Paranoid...but he doesn't know his phone number or address and I'd rather be safe than sorry. Much much rather he be safe.

So mommy's having a wee bit of separation anxiety. Daddy has no clue because it's mommy's secret.

I know people do this all the time. I know. I do. Kids go off to school. Kids get left with babysitters and nannies. Kids go to camp. But, I don't. And not my kid. So, this is a first for us. For me. I know he'll be fine. And I will too.

Mental dialog:
This is good for us. (repeat)

Smooth Talker

Zorro was checking out my neck.

"Mommy? What are these?" he asks, pointing to my moles (little mole not big MOLEY MOLEY MOLEY!).

"That's mommy's skin."

"I love them," he says pressing a kiss to the side of my neck.

My little lovey.

Watch out ladies! He's only going to get better!

Tic Tac

Zorro was tapping his feet and created his own game.

"Let's play Tip, Tap, Toe."

Define "Alright"

I was in rare form yesterday.

There was no pressure for me to do much of anything in a specific timeframe. I didn't feel rushed or harried. My nerves weren't rattled. My smile was genuine.

My husband came home to find me in the midst of cleaning the house. This was at about 2:00 pm. 3 hours later...I'm still cleaning.

"Are you alright?" he queries, concerned because in the past, I get upset...I clean.

I smile and say "yes" and mean it. I continue to dust and reorganize. I even managed to throw stuff away...pack rat that I am...and not shed a tear or blink an eye. (Just a few stuff, mind you...I can't part with everything---who knows for what and when I may need it?!)

It feels pretty good to be in control again. In control in more ways than one.
A few times the hubby checks on me to make sure I am indeed "alright."

Yes, I am finally feeling like I may just be alright. =)

Faster than a Speeding Bullet

WOW! Have you all just been waiting?! I can't believe you are all here and just a day after I restarted! And I didn't even have to send out announcements!

YOU ARE THE BEST!!

I am so lucky to have such great friends!! THANK YOU!!

GROUP HUG!

I actually got the gumption to start back in the kitchen. Yesterday I made Thai papaya salad after a long hiatus. The husband was starting to get worried I may never cook again. (Of course there is no cooking involved with this salad but you get the idea.) I may even attempt another dish in a few days. No need to rush into these things. Don't want to over do it, you know.

Finally got a referral to see an allergist. That visit will take place next week. Hopefully it will help me get a night's rest without waking up half a dozen times coughing. And I'm quite sure the hubby would appreciate any help in his getting a full rest too. It seems to be bothering him more than it does me. But, I'm not up at 4:00 am either (at least not by choice).

Whoooeeee. Two days in a row of blogs. I think it may rain in California tonight! And no therapy tonight. My doc cancelled and rescheduled for next week. Guess she's not too worried I'm going to crawl into a hole and hibernate for the winter. Maybe by next week I'll have something to report to her other than "I'm fine" and have it mean fine fine and not F.I.N.E. fine. Know what I mean? At least I know one of you knows.

And Zorro is sure making gains towards adulthood. He's gone from diapers to pullups at nights. He wears just undies at nap time. We also took off the gate to the bathroom so he can take himself to the toilet. And out of about 12 days, he was totally dry 11, holding his pee till the morning. I'm just incredibly proud of him in so many ways. I am so so lucky to be his mother. I really am.

Ooooooohhhhhhhhh!!! It's good to be back! Feels so so good! I want to jump and shout and sing (yes, I'll spare you all the singing). I can't explain how good it feels to feel myself. Not literally with my hands. Gawd! Get out of the gutter!!

I'm happy.

Have a good night all.

Have you given up?

I know it's been a long time, and for me---it's been a longer haul. The good news is...I am still here! And things are much better. At least for today I can say that!

Actually the past week has been good. Getting this all out in the open has made things easier for me. I've been blessed with a man who---although it doesn't happen often---makes an effort to know me. More importantly, he tries to give me what I need. So, if the crazy woman needs time for herself (although he may grumble), he gives me my "timeout".

Having mommy on "timeout" has been working well. It made him see that just because mommy is here and my son is asking for me, it doesn't mean he can't and shouldn't intervene. So now when mommy is on "timeout", daddy gets the questions and comments and playtime.

My husband is also starting to read me better and recognize my overwhelmed, frazzled look. Yes, it is possible for a man to start learning about his wife...even if it takes 10 plus years. Hey, it's a step in the right direction. And when he recognizes it, he makes a good effort to help me. Sometimes I need a walk. Sometimes I need a hug. And sometimes a Mojito is just what the doctor ordered.

I've been taking some time for me. I'm learning to get organized so I don't get overwhelmed. I'm learning to not put so much importance in one area and focus more on having fun and relaxing. I'm learning that other people's emotions should not directly affect me. If you are mad about something, I should let you deal with it. It does not have to be MY problem. I don't have to get upset too, especially when there is nothing I can do.

I control me. That I can do. So the focus reshifts to me. Getting me well. Getting me what I need to be happy. Keeping myself in check and in balance. I'm still seeing my therapist but the last session 3 weeks ago she let me out early. First she had to laugh as I recounted the events of my life, making me feel a little justified in my kookiness. Then I was let out early...I guess you could say for good behavior.

I go for my next visit tomorrow night. I don't have much to report. No news IS good news.

I feel better than I have in months.

I feel happy.

I feel hopeful.

The Will

Before I begin my topic, I want to say "Thank you." I've been gently reminded these past few weeks that I have not been writing here. Thank you for your continued interest, friendship, and for bearing with me. I sincerely appreciate being appreciated and the patience and loyalty you have shown me. It will take me some time to get back to where I was...my humor and wit have been buried under an avalanche of darker emotions and have just begun to dig themselves out. It's a slow and arduous endeavor but one well worth the effort. At least I think so.

If I had one word to describe myself---my new current self---it would be "frazzled." I find that I have succumbed to that image of the overworked, the overwhelmed, and the out-of-control. Where I was once stoic and able to let barbs bounce off me without making a whimper, I now am a gelatinous mess...wailing in agony over each little unintentioned prick.

Somewhere along the way I lost the mask I wore, and my soul is bared--naked, unprotected, and all too vulnerable. It feels so alien to be not quite me, to know I am and yet I am not. It's extremely frustrating and all I can do is keep trying, keep struggling to regain all that was me. To do anything else would be to do the unthinkable.

So each day I work. Some days I do better than others. But I'd like to think I'm moving forward, consistently forward to my image on normalcy---to my state of happiness, regaining control and balance and simply to be at ease once again.

I want to return to me. Some day I will. I will and so will it be.

Regarding Vegas

What happens in Vegas DOESN'T stay in Vegas...

I managed to bring back unwanted 6 pounds.


There is a reason you are given 3 or 4 spoons with your chocolate diablo. It doesn't mean to pick the best spoon and eat it all by yourself. SHARE!

What I learned on my summer vacation

(or in other words---MOO!)

1. I cannot eat everything I want to eat.
2. I must actually exercise and not just wear the exercise clothes I brought.
3. Do not eat the chocolate diablo all by yourself.
4. Do not eat the chocolate diablo twice in 1 week.
5. Do not eat the chocolate diable twice in 1 week all by yourself.
6. I do not gain weight in the same places as before (fat is unevenly distributed).
7. I cannot let myself get more than 5 pounds away from goal.
8. It is possible to gain 6 pounds in 1 week.

Back to basic training...BCB.

Be Back in July

Computer having trouble computing.

Anticipate I'll be back in July.

Will you?

Damn Bad, Damn Glad

Zorro: "Damn."

Me (double taking): "What did you say?"

Zorro: "Damn."

Me: "That's not a nice word. I don't want you to say that again. Okay?"

Zorro: "Okay."

Me (checking): "Where did you hear that from?"

Zorro: "From daddy."

Whew. Damn glad it wasn't from me.

What is Fun

fire engines and firefighters
(mom thinks so too) anything involving water and getting wet

chocolate, chocolate, and more chocolate

wooden clothes pins, bed sheets and imagination

mom on a good day

All by Himself: Getting Dressed

This morning my son dressed himself. All by himself.

He took out a t-shirt and carefully figured out the front and back.

He chose his own underwear (Lightening McQueen boxer briefs).

He pulled out a (thank goodness) matching pair of pants (currently he's into sweat pants...I think cause they are easy on, easy off for those moments where OMG I held my pee too long).

The shirt was half tucked into his pants. The pants were pulled up to his nipple line, making him look like a cute Asian Urkel. But he did it.

I knew he could put on his shirt. I knew he could put on his underwear. I knew he could put on his pants. But it was the first time I knew he could do it all at once---all by himself---that he could dress himself without needing my help at all.

My little boy is growing up.

Mind over Matter

I'm not exactly sure if the title has anything to do with what I'm about to write, but it seemed good enough when I started. I've been gently reminded that I should get back here and back to writing.

So here I am.

The medication I have been on for depression has been working wonders. To feel normal again is such a blessing.

For me, the depression happened in an instant. I woke up on April 23, 2007, and there it was. No one died. Everything was going well...my son, my husband...everything was normal---except for me. I found myself feeling utterly alone in the world, without friends. I cried for the next 4 days in a row. My husband said I was acting like my best friend had died, which was exactly how I was feeling. He determined I was not merely "sad" but was "depressed."

I really hate to use the word "crazy," but that is how I felt. My emotions were out of control. Some days I'd be full of sadness. Other days I'd be irritable, short of patience, and ready to snap. I was a far cry from the easy going, go-with-the-flow, happy-go-lucky person I normally was.

I'm lucky. I have angels looking out for me, prodding me. I got treatment early. I have a great support system. And I have great friends who have been so incredibly understanding and accepting. I've even learned that some of them also suffer from Depression, and I have been helped tremendously with their individual experiences and insights. While it is sad that so many people seem to have this, I'm glad I'm not alone.

I watched Oprah. I've read articles. I know Depression is an illness. I know there are chemical changes that occur in the brain which causes it. BUT, there is a tiny, insiduous part of me that clings to the idea that having this illness makes me a weaker person, mentally or otherwise. There's a negative connotation of Depression that makes people keep it a secret illness. After all, it does occur in the brain---we think...brain...mental illness...crazy. And while I don't think of others with Depression as crazy, when it comes to me, it's almost like I should be stronger...I shouldn't need to take medication.

I think Depression needs to be thought of as brain cancer, not mental illness. Depression eats away at every aspect of your life. Without treatment, it will continue to run unchecked and take over completely. I need to change the way I think about it and myself.

I refer to my medicine as "my crazy pill." I need to stop doing that. At the very least, it's "my happy pill" or "my normal pill."

What it truly has been is "my lifeline."

Staying Strong

I seem to be

Weekend Update

I danced with my son to Kenny Chesney.
I ate a bagel and had chai alone at Panera Bread.
I got to recline in the quiet room in the spa.
We saw the National Guard racing car.
My husband did the cooking and the laundry.
I washed the dog and cleaned up the dirty dishes. Yes...there were lots.
I have not cried or shed a tear since Monday.
It's been good.

Gray Skies...

are going to clear up!

I'm doing well...better than I was 3 weeks ago. Each week seems to be getting a little better. I'm letting women into my life, confiding and trusting, and slowly giving myself some time to make those all important friendship connections.

Everyone I know has been wonderful and supportive!

It hasn't been smooth sailing, but I like to be positive (at least my old side has and it's been winning...at least for the moment) so the bright side is that I have more good days than bad.

I went out last night with a new friend (named aptly JOY) to a MOPS meeting. It was the first time I'd been out with another person other than my son and my husband in I don't know how long. It was nice. Very nice. Definitely something I will need to do again.

Tomorrow will be a morning of spa pampering for me at Burke Williams. I will enjoy myself. TRUST ME!!!

About Yesterday

From Dove to Criminal Minds

Last night's episode I heard this quote, and it gonged inside my head:

"Nothing is permanent in this wicked world - not even our troubles."
--Charlie Chaplin

The struggle continues

Trying and trying and trying and trying

Chocolate Wisdoms

Whether by fate or coincidence,

I've been getting messages from Dove chocolate.

Sometimes life is just too funny.

Messages received.

And the battle continues

Today

What I did yesterday

I listened to water tinkling out of a fountain as the roar of an engine burst from the my little boy running round the track.

I watched a snail creep across the brick ground as a curious boy explored its many wonders.

I saw the fierce concentration of a young artist as an elephant was painted.

I lost a race to a boy and his truck.

I flew a kite.

I took a walk down the street with my son and his truck.

I smiled.

On My Way Back

4 more things

Yes! I actually found 4 more things to make me smile yesterday. Of course I still found myself naked in the bathtub crying in the dark as I listened to my MP3 player, but after 9 hours of sleep, I'm much better.

You ever notice how every fricking song has lyrics just for you when you are sad. Last night I listened to my shuffled tunes and heard:

"Guess mine is not the first heart broken
My eyes are not the first to cry
My heart is saying don't let go"

"Don't if feel like the wind is always howl'n?
Don't it seem like there's never any light!
Once a day, don't you wanna throw the towel in?
It's easier than puttin' up a fight.
No one's there when your dreams at night get creepy!
No one cares if you grow...of if you shrink!
No one dries when your eyes get wet an' weepy!"

But it's all about perspective I guess. So, I made myself listen to more "Annie."

"When I'm stuck a day that's gray and lonely,
I just stick out my chin and grin and say,
Oh! The sun'll come out tomorrow
So ya gotta hang on 'til tomorrow come what may"

And here are the 4 more things that made me smile yesterday:

*********************************

1. An email from JellyBean's Mom saying we could hang out. (THANKS!)

2. My awesome online buddies! (THANKS! THANKS!)

3. Pouring my heart out to an unsuspecting neighbor, having her pour the wine (we shared a bottle), and getting another invite to hang out. (THANKS! THANKS! THANKS!)

4. Sending this image to Alwyn and having him almost choke on his apple. Seeing this guy on Alwyn's MySpace just gives me the giggles.

Enough is Enough!

Stop. The. Bus.

I'm getting off. I'm not going to let myself continue this way. I am going to make myself happy or cry trying.

So, it's back to looking for the silver linings and gratitudes for me. Luckily, I am blessed with the best little boy in the whole world. (Yes, I did say the best!) He makes me laugh and appreciate my life every stinking day.

How could you not laugh when you hear an imperious, "Mom! Wipe my butt!"

In the spirit of Three Beautiful Things, I will try to come up with 3 things that made me smile. At least for today.

*********************************

1. The Homer Simpson like sound of pleasure from my son as he tried Cocoa Puff cereal for the first time.

2. The sight of Family Guy's Brian slapping Lois's butt. (You gotta find comedy where you can.)

3. Because I have been the bunny.

Still Blue

Blue Mood

"Nobody tells me. Nobody keeps me informed. I make it 17 days come Friday since anybody spoke to me."
--Eeyore
From book The House at Pooh Corner by A. A. Milne

A Good Question

Zorro: Why does Bert have toothpaste?
Me (Tired from all the why questions): Why do you think he has toothpaste?

Zorro: Bert has no teeth. Why does he have toothpaste?
Me (laughing): Good question.

Inspiration is everywhere

even on the inside of a Dove Dark Chocolate wrapper

It's starting to make sense to me

"A writer writes not because he is educated but because he is driven by the need to communicate. Behind the need to communicate is the need to share. Behind the need to share is the need to be understood. The writer wants to be understood much more than he wants to be respected or praised or even loved. And that perhaps, is what makes him different from others."
Leo Rosten

Today's Paperwork

Today Zorro did a phenomenal job with his paperwork.

He did this dot to dot all by himself.

And look at his skills with prewriting and writing.

How I measure success

I attempted to make a Rosemary Onion Bread.

The yeast was good.

The proofing is in the pictures.

I made a Rosemary Onion Bread.

It actually turned out and tasted decent.

Half the loaf is gone, and I wasn't the one doing all the eating.

And I didn't get cut or injured.


Recipe was from here: http://www.cooksrecipes.com/bread/rosemary_onion_bread_recipe.html

How to keep a preschooler entertained

At Leo's they had a plastic disposable cup for kid's drinks. Pictured were circus themes: a clown, a pink poodle, an elephant and lots of balloons. The writing on the cup instructs the kids to count the red balloons.

So I tell Zorro.

He begins to count, turning the cup as he does so. He is a good counter, turning and turning and turning the cup...getting all the way to 17. There were only 8, but it was cute to see he didn't know when to stop and hadn't realized he had already counted the same balloons.

Me noodles

My husband took us to Leo's (a Mexican restaurant) to have lunch. As we approached, I could see a sign and read it aloud, "Menudo."

Zorro says, "No, my noodles."

Huh?

Yesterday's Word of The Day:

abecedarian \ay-bee-see-DAIR-ee-uhn\, noun:
1. One who is learning the alphabet; hence, a beginner.
2. One engaged in teaching the alphabet.

Anyone else confused?

I made an A

"Look Mom! I made an A."

Dang it!

He sure did!

He wrote his first A on the computer with the mouse.

That deserves a day of bowling. Let's go...

1st Time Bowling

We went bowling for the first time today.

Zorro played 3 games. I played 2.

He averaged 66 points and even managed to get a couple of 9 point frames.

WOOHOO!

(And look Kim...No hat!)

Coloring Bertie

I thought he did such a great job coloring Bertie, so I wanted to share.

Parental Pride

The Art Class Egg Hunt

He impatiently awaits the starting bell

Keeping an eye on the prize

CHARGE!!

Homanah! Homanah! Homonyms!

On Thursday I took Zorro to the park. He wanted to take off his shoes and socks. So as I helped him take them off, I say, "Oh, you want to go bare foot."

He corrects me with, "No, I don't want to have a bear foot. I want people's foot."

Reflections from Art Class

Sometimes I wish I had a magic zapper finger. I could point it at really stupid parents and make it so they couldn't have any more children. But then that still leaves me with the problem--them raising the kids they do have.

Crap.

Quiz for those who like to quiz

You know how people are always sending and answering those all important, personal questions? Well, I just read one today that stated "This may just be the most random survey you've ever taken!!" and have cut and paste a few of the more unusual questions. The responses are mine. If you want to play along, answer a few (or all depending on how much time you have on your hands). Here we go:

1. What is your best friend's Mom's name? Mom has a best friend?

2. What your fave type of cheese? Cheddar

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had? Someone had a hot teacher??? JEALOUS! None of mine were even lukewarm. No offense.

4. Have you ever made out in a movie theater? Yes, who the hell hasn't? And if you haven't... LOSER!

5. What body part do you wash first? My hair--on my head (you are so dirty)

6. Do you have any piercings? just my ears so far

7. What's your fave childhood movie? I'm changing this question to childhood movies that made me bawl: Charlotte's Web, Old Yeller, Dumbo, Bambi...what gives?!

8. Do you have an innie or an outtie? innie if I'm skinny

9. What's your favorite flavored Pringles? I'd rather eat Lays. Then Doritos. BUT, if I had to pick a Pringle, it would be sour cream and onion.

10. Have you ever been tied up? Does in traffic count? If not, then no. At least nothing that comes to mind at the moment.

11. What was the worst thing you ever got grounded for? I don't know. I wasn't the grounding type. I was a strange kid who grew into a strange adult. I don't think you can call it grounding if I enjoyed being alone in my room reading a good book.

12. . Have you ever been to a gay bar? Yes...And so have you Alwyn!

13. Have you ever had friends with benefits? You mean like with a car or money?

14. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common? They had a Y chromosome.

15. Did you french kiss before you were 16? Yes, but it would have been nice to have been warned in advanced. I was sure surprised to find a tongue down my throat.

16. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting? no but I caught a jackalope once.

17. What was your childhood nickname? Stump (The unmentioned 8th dwarf)

18. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes room with binoculars late at night? Isn't this illegal?

19. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of others? Play spoons on my naked boobs while farting to the Mickey Mouse Theme Song. Oh, "wouldn't do." Scratch that. I'll have to think. Let me get back to you.

20. What is your favorite boardgame from childhood?Again, LOSER! Who liked playing boardgames when you could be out on your bmx bike?

21. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk? One is enough. But for a really good time...

22. Have you ever sniffed an animal's butt? HUH? That's a little personal, now.

23. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose? Like a chinese snow pea? Or an Italian zucchini?

24. Have you ever gotten caught farting while on a date? Not on a date. Guess you missed that blog.

25. Have you ever played naked twister? Board game! Bored game.

26. Have you ever been drunk at work/school? no

27. How many Jasons do you know? 2

The Burning Question

My son and I were at Walmart this weekend. Upon entering we were informed Spiderman was going to be there in about 10-20 minutes. They were doing free photos with Spidey.

We had nothing better to do (dad was home sick), so Zorro and I went to see him. I never thought about it, but I guess Spidey is a pretty shady character to look at for the uninitiated.

Although Zorro has willingly hugged just about every masked creature we've run across, from Sparky the Fire Dog to Goofy, Zorro could not be coaxed into doing much more than offer Spidey a wave of his hand. He was absolutely not interested in getting any closer to Spidey, more than content to view him from afar.

Later in the car, he asked me, "Why does Spiderman have no eyes?"

Kids Concepts Playdate

The elusive yellow dolphin is spotted
frolicking in a sea of colorful orbs

We’re going on a mission
Start the countdown
5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Everyone to rocket,
rev it up now
RRRRRRRRR
We’re going on a trip
In our favorite rocket ship
Zooming through the sky
Little einsteins

You Boob Tube

Beauty is all around us. So is humor.

Today I decided I needed to get back to exercising PITA or not. I turned on the television and got on my mini stepper and began searching the guide for something to watch. Scanning the choices, I landed on Maury. Every once in a while, I'll watch. Come on--admit it, you watch it too. It's hard to resist Jack Hanna and a baby white tiger.

This program was a repeat. How I missed it in January I'll never know. (This was said very sarcastically, BTW.) It asks the question: "Did my man cheat on me because I have one leg?"

Yeah. He did. And the half-brain thing probably contributed too.

So I opted not to watch Maury. I watched Dr. Keith instead..."Fat and Happy in Hollywood."

Ah well...at least I got my exercise in.

Discovered the hard way

I am not ready for slides.

Ass pain takes a long time to heal.

Scrambled to Hell

Yesterday was the day from HELL!

Remember the scrambled eggs? Well, as I cooked it, I did the erroneous thing of letting him watch television. After breakfast, he wanted to do his Disney Preschool Time online, which I agreed to.

It all went down hill after that. He didn't want to do any paperwork, preferring to sit on the couch and do nothing instead. It was a pure power struggle. I let him sit there, and just reminded him he was on the couch because he'd rather do that then do a few papers.

Thank God he eventually capitulated. Paperwork done.

But, the power struggles continued. And I think the little bugger has it in his head that mom's a loving pushover. He thinks cute will get him back in my good graces. He has yet to learn that if mom's not talking much and cleaning the house like a madwoman--things are not going to be in your favor.

When his daddy got home, he was not much better. After a few more incidents, dad put him on the couch. The final straw was the pillow with my son's saliva on it. When asked why he licked it, his response was because daddy hadn't been watching him. Daddy marched him upstairs for a speedy bath and teeth brushing and put him to bed. About 45 minutes earlier than normal.

I had told Zorro I hoped he would be better today. If not, we would be going to our park playdate, and he would be sitting on the bench just watching the other kids play with his toys.

I can be a sadistic hardass. Just try me.

Hopefully no more on this to come.

Suess got it Right

Ever since Zorro was a baby, he has not liked eggs. We tried giving it to him prepared in different ways--scrambled, boiled--to no avail. Whether it's the taste or texture, the result has been the same. He gags.

So after reading a story the other night, he got it in his head he wanted to also eat scrambled eggs for breakfast. He woke up saying, "scrambled eggs."

I made him scrambled eggs. On his plate was a piece of toast (buttered with jelly) and 1/2 a slice of bacon. He tasted the eggs and pronounced it good.

After breakfast, everything was eaten--except the eggs, which he now said was not good. (He usually tries something and says it's good and then refuses to eat any more, so we know it really wasn't.)

Green eggs or not, he does not like it. And now he knows for sure. Maybe he will try again in a few years. Are eggs an acquired taste?

Trip to the Dentist

On Saturday my husband and I noticed my son's front tooth was turning gray. About 2 weeks ago, his tooth had run smack into a little girl's forehead. She was fine. My son cried up a storm for a bit, then we promptly forgot about it. Until it changed colors.

I took him to the dentist, knowing very well there was little they could do about it. Still, it's best to be prudent. So, we went. According to the dentist, it was a wait and see thing. If severe damage was done, a root canal would be in order. He could have also damaged the permanent tooth that showed up in the x-ray, touching the injured tooth. Apparently, it could be months to a year before you may see any damage in an injured tooth. And since this was his second injury (the first was a chip), he needed to be careful not to do further damage. It is apparently prevalent in thumb suckers, their teeth jut out making them more prone to getting hit.

I explained to my son what the doctor said. I wanted him to be aware and just try to be a little more careful. As careful as an active 3 year old could possibly be.

So we go to Kmart so he can window shop (toys), and he sees some kids running to their mom who is standing by us. He puts his hands out in front to brace himself and hollers, "Nooooo!" Of course everyone probably thinks he is fruity as he procedes to tell them why they cannot hit him and what his dentist has said (something I can only understand).

At least by Jove, I know he's got it. Even if it's just for the moment.

For my Fans

Since some of you have asked...I'm posting a snippet of my current chapter (chapter 4). Kim finally does it. WAY TO GO KIM!! BTW, this is a sex scene if you haven't figured it out so if you don't want to read it, avert your eyes now!

“Okay?” he asked concerned, gritting through his teeth. I nodded, nipping his neck. In a rush, my breath left as he filled me, sinking deep, all the way within me. My body strove to accommodate his dimensions, bombarded by the onslaught of stimulants. He withdrew, causing me to wrap my legs around him to hold him.

I forced him back, driving my hips up to meet him. He pressed down, and I felt a stunning jolt. I was swiftly discovering all the things I liked—the play of muscles beneath my hands, the fullness of him, the lightning sensations rippling low in my womb as he undulated. I clenched my inner walls experimentally.

“Witch,” he hissed. I was feeling unbelievably powerful and singularly female.

“I prefer ‘sorceress,’” I said tartly, clenching tightly once more. He dropped his head, kissing me with fierce abandonment. Our exchange turned frantic as the stakes were swiftly anted.

Open more than your eyes

"Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it."
Confucius

B and E

The boys, "B" and "E"

at the park

Move over Bob the Builder.

There's a new crew in town.

They are calling themselves

Chicago Tallytoady.

That's Spanish, apparently, for something.

Why I am a Dog Person

I got this in an email. I am a dog person, and well...I have nothing better to write about, AND this is just plain funny. Even dogs understand the Secret! :P

"Excerpts from a Dog's Diary"
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

"Excerpts from a Cat's Diary"
Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

Speed, I am Speed

Last night while we were putting our son to bed, he says to us, pointing to some toys on his bookshelf, "May I have that so I won't be missing daddy?"

Uh, no.


Damn. That kid is quick.

PITA

So, I did the laundry, five loads yesterday.

As I was carrying the newly washed, dried, and folded clothes down the stairs, I slipped. Not one of those slips where you slide down a few steps. I did one of those banana peel slips where you go airborne. I completely missed about 3 steps, landing full force on my sacrum, basket and all.

I had to stay there for a minute to work through the pain. Luckily my son was taking his nap, so I could do my suffering alone. I tried to reposition myself to make sure all was in working order. My fears were not that I had broken my tail bone. I was hoping I didn't damage my spine or discs.

Once I got up, I attempted to carry the basket upstairs to the bedroom. The first effort told me this wasn't going to happen. So I attempted again, carrying half the items. I went back for the rest of the basket. Then decided to leave the rest for my husband to tackle when he came home. If I had, at the very least, shifted my SI out of place, walking up and down the steps was just going to make matters worse.

I moved slowly the rest of the day, certainly not by choice, although I am glad I couldn't move fast with the pain I felt. Standing and doing the dishes was not a pleasant experience, either. I ended up on the couch with a heating pad under my ass for a few hours.

My awkward movements reminded me of when I was heavy in pregnancy. It was that kind of pressure but with the addition of pain thrown in. I couldn't even bend over to wash my feet in the shower. I had to hold on to the walls of the stall for support and lift my foot up to meet my hand. Everything got washed. And as of last night I had no visible signs of injury...not even bruising (yes, I checked!).

So this morning, I'm feeling better than I thought I would. Much less stiffer than I expected. The pain has decreased, and I should be able to function rather normally.

I don't think I'll be doing much exercise today. I got a P.I.T.A. as my excuse. What's yours?!

On our walk yesterday

X marks the spot.

Beauty is all around us.

Just stop and take a look.

Marble Art

It is Genetic!

I was putting my son to bed last night. He watched me while I spoke to him. Then, he asked as he pointed to my face, "Why you have cracks on your eyes? Is that from being old?"

Three years old and already noticing wrinkles!! WTH!

After tucking him in, I ran down to find out if my husband had taught my son anything new. As I am relaying the encounter, my husband is laughing as he denies any involvement.--Any reference to the wife being "old" is funny.

So, I conclude...It is Genetic!

Back to the Drawing Board

I spoke to my husband at lunch. Roo and Lumpy did not work. Apparently while my husband was getting his lunch out of the fridge to take to work, the door to my son's room opened.

The little guy was up again wanting to say farewell to his daddy.

New plan: Little guy to stay in bed. Big guy will come into little guy's room every morning to tell him goodbye, will even wake him up if he's sleeping.

Either little guy will get tired of this whole thing and tell daddy to quit. Or we continue this until we get tired of this.

Roo, Lumpy, Bed

Despite the events surrounding the dog, we wanted to make sure our son didn't wake up crying at 4:30 am. We carefully explained that it wasn't the thing to do. Daddy would not be going to work and he, my son, was not to get up crying and come into mommy's room. Daddy was going to be home. He was to wait in bed for daddy to wake him up for breakfast.

Saturday: it worked. No crying. We could have slept in...but didn't because we are early birds and complete dorks.

We decided to reinforce this by getting him a stuffed animal. I knew he loved Roo and Lumpy (a Heffalump from a movie) so we went to the Disney store and discussed our plan with our son. The idea was that he had company in his bed. When daddy went to work, if he missed daddy he could talk to Roo and Lumpy. We would only get them if my son thought that would help him to not cry and miss daddy so much. He said "YES!" So we purchased both (they were small so 2 for $10.00) and held of giving it to him until Sunday night. It made it that much more exciting to get them.

We introduced Roo and Lumpy to Bunny, and they all became fast friends as they took their place next to my son beneath his blanket.

I'm happy to report no crying this morning. At least none that I am aware of. Yay!

"It is not so much our friends' help that helps us as the confident knowledge that they will help us."- Epicurus (341 - 270 BC) Greek philosopher.

Thank God for Visa

On Friday I took our dog, Lucy, to our vet for a blood test. Her seizure medication had been changed from phenobarbitol to KBr; she'd been completely weaned for 1 month. The vet wanted to check her bromide levels. I was back home by 11:00 and let Lucy briefly sniff and do her thing on the grassy area in front of our complex.

About 6:25 that evening, I was giving my son his bath. My husband came to get me. Lucy looked like she was having seizures. We traded, and I went downstairs and took her into my arms. I stayed with her for a while, absorbing the tremors that racked her 7 pound body. She seemed to calm, the abnormal shaking subsiding. I put her on her bed, and the awkward movements resumed. When a huge spasm took over her body, I put her in her carrier - she threw up - and grabbed her medical record. I took her out of the bag, carried her in my arms and the bag by its strap and drove to the Animal ER hospital.

The receptionist says, "What's the problem?"
I say, "She's seizing."
The receptionist says, "Seizing? Is that it?" like I was stupid to bring my dog in for such a minor thing. Then I realize she'd thought I'd said something entirely different.
I spoke again, "SEIZ-ING."
"Oh. I thought you said sneezing."

I filled out the paper work as Lucy was taken to be examined. Question after question were thrown at me. The doctor didn't think this was a seizure. They were fairly certain she got into poison - probably snail bait. I was baraged about where I had been (vet and grassy area), plants in my house (none). Did I know if snail bait was used out there? (no)

Lucy also threw up at the vet's. The doctor informed me they had given Lucy valium to try to stop her body tremors. She responded briedly, then the shaking returned. Next she was given a muscle relaxer. That worked which led the doctor to believe strongly it was best to treat her for poisioning, although he couldn't find evidence of snail bait granules in her vomit.

I agreed to treatment: IV, charcoal, and meds as needed. Then asked if he wanted to look through her vomit from home. I've watched enough CSI to think it may have come in handy. He thought it was a good idea too, so I gave them the dog carrier.

I went home. The doctor would call me in the morning. The wait is the hardest part. I couldn't think to type. I didn't feel up to reading. My mind was on her. So I knew of only one way to shut off my brain. I slept.

In the morning, I went to the store to get new dog food. Less than a week ago, I had switched her from Pedigree to Purina. My husband and I strongly suspected the change in diet triggered her condition. I know the doctor felt it was poison, but I was pretty sure she didn't get into anything during her visit to our regular vet. And, we were on the grassy area for maybe 2 minutes, during which time I didn't see her eating anything. Also, everyone walks their dogs there. Was it just my luck that the one time I did, she would get poisoned from there? I even found out that snail bait had not been used. The only thing put in that area was fertilizer which occurred 3 weeks ago. So, I paid for the Pedigree, hoping I'd get the chance to feed it to her.

My husband took my son out for the morning. I stayed home and waited for the doctor's call. I got the good news that she pulled through and was doing well. I hopped in my car and drove to bring her home. When she saw me, I was amazed. Lucy has a greeting she reserves just for my husband. It's a whimpering, whiny, "Where have you been all day? I've missed you so much. Let me tell you about it." I was on the receiving end this morning. "Where have you been? I didn't think you were ever coming back. I missed you so much. Don't leave me here. Do you have any idea what they did to me?"

We got home. I gave Lucy my face to lick so she could get it all out of her system. Then she settled into my lap and went to sleep.

$120 for the check up. $606 for the trip to ER. Doggy home and well--priceless.

One lump or two

Last October I came upon this sight. I started thinking maybe boys were preprogrammed to know this stuff--

--flagging doorknobs. Was this instinctual? After all, I've never showed him how to do this, nor has he seen anyone else do this. Funny how at 3 he came up with it.

Yesterday, we had a playdate at my home. One of the mommies is due to deliver in May. She was showing her belly to my son, explaining there was a baby inside.

He had no interest in the belly growth. His attention was fixed a bit higher. He was into the booby growth. He patted her breast.

We tried to redirect him to her belly and the baby within. He would touch it briefly, as if to humor us, then back up his hand went.

My son, one track minded, kept patting her breast. "What's this?" he kept saying as he patted it. "What's inside?"

I guess some things are instinctual--curiosity.

And in this case, he prefers 2 lumps over the one.

Hard to say goodbye

In the past two weeks or so, my son has been having some anxiety at nights. He asks if his daddy is going to work tomorrow, and if the answer is "yes" he makes sure to get all his goodbyes out. "Goodbye. Happy new year fifty-twozit. Goodbye. Mom, can you say goodbye to daddy? Goodbye. Happy new year fifty-twozit...." and his daddy and I try to make our escape as he continues his litany.

He is very insistent that I join him in his goodbyes to daddy. So I do, to humor him and to keep him calm so he can go to sleep. "Goodbye, daddy. Happy new year 95. Have a nice day at work. We'll see you when you get home." We tell him that he can call daddy in the morning if he wants to, trying to reassure him as we put him to bed.

For the last three mornings, we've been dealing with an addition to that issue. Just before my husband leaves in the morning - at 4:30ish - he calls out for one of us, and then starts crying if no one gets there in a certain amount of time. He wants to talk to daddy to tell him goodbye and give a kiss.

It makes me sad to think that my little boy already has so much on his mind, that he would be so worried about his daddy being gone he gets up crying. I know he must lie in bed worrying as he falls asleep so it's the first idea he grabs onto when he awakes. I'm not quite sure what to do other than to keep reassuring him. Hopefully this will be a hurdle he can get over quickly and easily.

Maybe I should get him a new toy.

* * * * * * * *

And the reference he makes to 52? He started saying it one day and we just shrugged it off. Kids make up a bunch of stuff. I finally asked him and he replied it's for McQueen. Uh, no...Mcqueen is 95. So I've been trying to teach him that it's 95. But fifty-twozit still sounds better.

About Last Night:
Spice it up and have fun at story time. Try reading to your child in a different voice. Plug your nose. Speak like Julia Childs. Pat your mouth as you talk to sound like an announcer. You, too, could make a 3 year old laugh like a loon. I even mimic a story on tape/cd, chiming when it's time to turn the page.

Does not Compute

A little blond bird told me she was having trouble posting a comment. Well, actually she unfairly accused me of rejecting her comment. As if!

Something screwy is Denmark/Blogger-land. I chose to moderate comments so random people couldn't just write *bleep bleep* stuff unless I felt it was appropriate. In the beginning the computer would read the accurate number of comments for me to approve. Then it began saying I had 1 comments where I could only see none. Yesterday it was up to three mysterious comments.

So, now I know that the mysterious comments which the computer says I do and don't have are really comments someone has written that disappeared in computer la-la land. Man! It must have been some good writing for the computer folks to horde it from me.

I heartily apologize if any of the missing posts were yours. I truly enjoy getting them (especially from you, you know who you are)! I've rechanged the settings so I hope that helps with the problem.

Last night:
My son was having his bubble bath. I blew bubbles (the kind you blow outside with the wand) onto his hand. Then I would "sneeze"..."AH! AH! AH! CHOO!" and the bubbles would disappear. My son was laughing hysterically. What can I say? Three year olds find me hilarious.

The New Do

Yes, you're at the right place. I felt like I needed a change and since my hair can only go Britney short, I thought it best I change my blog appearance.

Best part of last night:
Listening to the muted sounds of my husband reading to my son as I washed the dishes.

Who Cares?

The title caught my attention first, "Mummified body found in front of blaring TV." My first thought was humorous, like yeah, that would be so my husband. So I read the article, and I was horrified. I watched the news footage, and I felt sick. How horrible to die in your own home and have no one even bother to check on you for over a year.

I'm trying not to be critical or judgemental. But, I feel angry and so saddened.

I can only hope his story forces readers to take a look inward and ask what are they doing to contribute to this social apathy. And how can we change?

Mother Wisdom

Quotations from Mother Teresa:

• If you judge people, you have no time to love them.
• Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are endless.
• Love is doing small things with great love.
• Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
• Do not wait for leaders. Do it alone, person to person.

Life is beautiful

I was inspired

by a wonderful photographer

to dust off my camera.

My skills are sadly lacking. But, I hope you see what I see.

Life is beautiful.

Something old, something new

Kim, your compliment led me to search, and I learned.

Thank you.

According to Dr. Frank Gaetano Morales, Ph.D., "Yoga is a process of spiritual unfoldment. Yoga is a 5000 year old system of self-knowledge and God-realization the aim of which is unleashing the full hidden potential of every aspect of the human person."

I didn't know I was doing yoga.

Valentine's Day

Celebration of Love

I am grateful I can dance and twirl with my son (and he loves twirling with me).

I am grateful I can run and race my son for the Piston cup.

I am grateful I can stay at home, shower my son with love and watch him grow.

I am grateful for a husband who can cook and does.

I am grateful for a husband who looks forward to spending time with me.

I am grateful I have a loving husband who understands me (most of the time).

I am grateful I have friends who appreciate, support, and make me laugh.

I am grateful I like with who I am on the inside (and the woman looking back at me in the mirror ain't too shabby either).

Life is sweet

I did a little baking last week. I made chocolate cream cheese cupcakes (low fat) and cocoa rice crispy treats. I divided them up and dropped them off to my neighbors.

On Saturday my husband and I were in the kitchen preparing dinner. The oven fans were whirling so we couldn't hear much outside that room.

I was wearing gloves, shredding a turkey leg. My son comes in to ask if he could play with the "ding dong." My response was, "WHAT?!" We don't use that word to describe body parts and I was a bit startled and confused. Then he says that Lucy, our dog, was barking.

It clued me in. Although we hadn't heard anything, someone was probably at the door for Lucy to bark. And "ding dong" meant the doorbell.

So I took off my gloves and went to check. By the time I had gotten there, no one was there. But, they had left me a bouquet of flowers.

12:58 Just wanted to add. After I received flowers, my son decided his daddy needed flowers. So at the grocery store, we picked up a bouquet of purple flowers which he proudly gave to my sick husband. How quickly the little ones understand the power of giving. It's a perfect example of how love is spread. Remember "pay it forward". It comes back to you in ways you never expect.

Give. It doesn't have to hurt. :)

The Secret

I don't know if you watched Oprah's show about the Secret. It's the title of a book and dvd. I haven't read the book or seen the dvd, but I've been practicing the philosophy.

It's something I've been trying to live my life by. I'm trying to learn to live my best life. And we all have the potential to do just that. I believe it. I truly believe it is in your grasp.

We must remember to be grateful. That is one of the secrets. Each person, each experience provides us with something to be grateful for, something we need to learn from. Take a step back. Search your heart and find them. Even in the worst of times, we can learn something.

Nourish your spirit. That's what this is about--letting go of the bad so the good can come into your lives. We are beautiful and deserving.

We must find our strengths and know the powerful person that we are and learn to love ourselves. When you come to fully appreciate yourself so will everyone else. They will have no choice.

FYI

While I sit at my computer, doing my best to avoid actual writing, I came across a blog. More specifically, the blog's guest blogger.

Any Anthony Bourdain fans? Any FoodTv fans?

You may enjoy the blog. I know I did.

Be Strong

“Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from indomitable will.” - Mahatma Ghandi

On Cheating Husbands

You know I love quotes. From time to time (especially when I lack things to say), I'll be sharing them with you.

“When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.” – Anonymous

Not Just O-Kay Kisses

Last night the television was on. My son saw a commercial for Kay's Jeweler. He then turns to me and sings "Every kiss is o-o-kay." And plants a kiss on my cheek.

From you babe, every kiss is more than okay.